I read a post a while ago on Facebook, which completely turned me off. The person stated (and I'm paraphrasing, that "if you are expecting God to bring you a husband, and you don't know how to clean or cook yourself then you will be waiting a long time."
The post went into further detail of all the things that downgraded our favor with God which would could possibly hinder the "benefit" of finding a mate. Umm excuse me ? Say what? So being a well-groomed woman earns me points to scoring a "God-fearing man"?
In all honesty, I think that every woman, in order to become a wife needs to properly prepare herself to become the woman that she wants to be for her husband, the Proverbs 31, the woman of virtue that we are all striving to be. I think it's vitally essential as woman after God's heart to pursue after this type of woman.
I found the facebook post to be quite condescending: that the only way we could score a good, God-fearing man is if the God who sees everything we do in secret knows that i'm properly groomed or well taken care of, serving in the church and if everyone sees me as an effective leader. If that is not the case and I can't cook, or can't clean then I will no longer receive the husband i'm desiring for.
So lets be clear: your qualification for marriage is not measured through a point system by God. People who are courting/dating or even married did not "score" a man because they were properly groomed and presented as perfect before God. Everyone is a work in progress, and every Christian will never reach the maximum of perfection until Christ comes. At the same time, I have seen people who have been faithfully serving in church and are still single. Are their good deeds not being recognized by God? I mean, they read their bible everyday, are part of multiple ministries and highly recognized in the church. So why are they still single? They have it all together right? God has to have favor on them. Or are they just living a double life ?
We have to stop idolizing the idea of relationship/marriage.
It's actually annoying how we view marriage. As if it's the final destination to our Christian walk; that once we get to that season we will completely know that God's favor is in our lives. Yup, we finally scored big point with the BIG G.O.D. All the things I have been doing in the church have finally been noticed. This way of thinking is very destructive; it isn't fair to those people who are really struggling in certain areas of their lives and trying to get it right with Christ. What about the Saints who aren't in a church or actively serving ? Or my single ladies who strive to be better and to love Christ but are seriously not content in their season of singleness. Your good deeds, or acts do not determine your favour from/with God, and to think as such is to misunderstand who God is. There is so much more that I could address with this, but i'll just leave it here...
I hope you get the point i'm trying to make.
From my own personal experience and from my conversations with others, I realize that everyone's story is different! God shouldn't be boxed up to the idealistic way of how your spouse should come into your life just because sister Nancy waited and was content in her single season. Yup she did everything right in the book and now she is happily married and blessed. God doesn't bless others and discredit someone else because their deeds aren't righteous towards him. Let that sink in. We all have our struggle and the things that easily entangles us in our walk. But nothing we do can ever be something that brings us into the next hierarchical status, for it says "No one is righteous-- not even one (Romans 3:10)". So before we judge and forget our own skeletons in the closet let us humbly pray for each other.
* Now before some of y'all come for me this post isn't to throw shade or discredit anyone who promotes being single and content. I'm all for that because, I also experienced my single season before I got into my own personal relationship. I get it, but I also understand the struggle for those whose desires seem clouded in their walk and they bleed discontentment.*
for the sake of his love,
NanaOhh.
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