Not bound but free
Apr 1, 2016
I'm not really sure how this post
will turn out. Right now my thoughts are all over the place. I could plead
for insanity but that would make me a little more delusional than I ought to be.
Sometimes I wish I could be my own hero. Fix my problems and mend all that is broken in my life
instantaneously. In the certainty of time I could bring my own healing right
away and spare myself from all the frustration. I guess what I'm saying is if I
could be my own god in a split second I would...sometimes.
The wailing of my anxious heart often carries a load over my head. Like burning coals, I can no longer carry the shame of my guilt. The challenges of my heart give into the idles I put before God. Speaking about my struggle with lust is something I contemplated sharing on my blog for a while now. I know it's not for me to keep. I would be lying to my readers, myself and simply removing God out of the equation. I would be manipulating the truth to feed into societal approval and self assurance that things are done better for people than for myself.
I guess I'm crazy for thinking such a way. I must admit that I’m unapologetic for my thoughts. Unlike others I can admit that I wear my flaws on my sleeve. I can admit that my walk with God is difficult and in the midst of my frustration most of the time I become impatient. I'm aware that my imperfect nature from the beginning of time was caused by a fall that I did not ask to happen but somehow has a great impact on my choices. I would rather be my own god in some moments because I lack the understanding of how God is working in my grief. I glorify myself rather than trying grasp the reality and truth that he’s on my side and for me.
The wailing of my anxious heart often carries a load over my head. Like burning coals, I can no longer carry the shame of my guilt. The challenges of my heart give into the idles I put before God. Speaking about my struggle with lust is something I contemplated sharing on my blog for a while now. I know it's not for me to keep. I would be lying to my readers, myself and simply removing God out of the equation. I would be manipulating the truth to feed into societal approval and self assurance that things are done better for people than for myself.
I guess I'm crazy for thinking such a way. I must admit that I’m unapologetic for my thoughts. Unlike others I can admit that I wear my flaws on my sleeve. I can admit that my walk with God is difficult and in the midst of my frustration most of the time I become impatient. I'm aware that my imperfect nature from the beginning of time was caused by a fall that I did not ask to happen but somehow has a great impact on my choices. I would rather be my own god in some moments because I lack the understanding of how God is working in my grief. I glorify myself rather than trying grasp the reality and truth that he’s on my side and for me.
I have nothing to prove to anyone. I'm not perfect. I struggle every single day to get it right with God. Sometimes I'm afraid to admit to anyone what i'm dealing with. That’s the deadliest thing I can do; the devil is very crafty he wants us to hide our struggles so that we can wallow in it. He’d rather us not share it with anyone.
I'm not afraid to admit that I need help !I realize in this moment that I cannot save myself. The power that I have in me doesn't have the capacity to make me whole. So who will rescue me? Seriously who will rescue me ? I know exactly how Paul felt. His transparency in Romans 7 gave me a greater perspective of the struggle with sin. That in his own will he knew exactly what he should not do but still continued to do it. Most Christians today if they were to come across Paul they would say that the man needs deliverance or the holy spirit isn't present with him. Like seriously what kind of person continues to do the exact same thing and knows very well that he isn't supposed to do it ? Like where is the fear of God?
GET TO KNOW ME A LITTLE | TMI TAG
Mar 15, 2016
Hey guys so this is my first Youtube Video. I know a little spontaneous right ? For a while I've been feeling led to start a channel. So here it is !! Look out for more videos and don't forget to like, share and subscribe.
NanaOhh.
NanaOhh.
Hard Truth " Unashamed" : Collaboration with Anita Asante
Mar 13, 2016
I was recently asked by my girl Anita to write a review on her previous post Unashamed. In the post she highlights so many issues that we struggle with as black women. Anita keeps it real and uses her own experiences to outline how society has manipulated our blackness through stereotypes, in doing so sometimes are worth is put into question.
For more of Anita please check out her blog www.thehardtruthsite.wordpress.com
When I was asked to share my thoughts on Anita’s post I was a bit anxious. I wasn’t sure what I was going to write. Not because I was afraid about stepping out and talking about my blackness but afraid that I would be misunderstood. I was unsure if I could express myself and still extend grace on the issue at hand.
I came across this quote the other day:
“Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless we love the truth, we cannot know it.”- ― Blaise Pascal
I learned a very long time ago that truth is a noun that lies in a definition of the unknown. Everyone’s definition of truth is different. Misunderstanding a person’s truth is a product of ignorance. A black person’s ability to express their frustration for justice in movements such as #blacklivesmatter has resulted in the ignorance of greater masses refuting the cause to say that #alllivesmatter. They fail to recognize that what is on the surface of what they see is something that has been deeply rooted within us. I don’t know any white person that has “contemplated changing their skin color to feel accepted by the society around them. But I know many as myself who contemplated manipulating their blackness– the beautiful handiwork of God to fit the image that has been socially profiled as correct.
This quote resonates profoundly with me. It is clear that those who do not love truth have opened themselves up to deception. The reality of being black is hidden to those who haven’t lived it or walked in the shoes of a black woman. The “Unashamed” post highlighted so many struggles and significant matters in our community today. The fact that different shades of our black skin tone is rated on some type of scale to prove self worth or value is disheartening.
Blackness has been defined as ugly to the masses, from saying that our nose is too big to being compared to gorillas—whiteness has established this falsehood, and blackness accepted it. It is problematic because along the way many of us have forgotten to love ourselves by truly embracing our individuality and our uniqueness of being “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:14. We have been asked repetitive questions on our hair, our culture and even language. But I believe that many have chosen to not learn about who we are because they don’t care and is simply not important to them.
Birthday Glory| 24 Years Deep!
Mar 10, 2016
As my birthday slowly approached my heart was filled with so
much excitement. I could not help but think that I've come such a long way. No one ever
knows where the journey of life will take them. We just hope that as we unravel
the layers of our life story that we are able to
understand the hidden mysteries along the way. Like everyone else I've had some bad
days, some happy days, some beautiful days and ugly days. I failed at more
things than I've been successful at and although there are times I feel like I
should be in my career by now,
I'm at peace with where God wants me to be. Jeeez I can't believe I typed that
out! I never even thought I would make it to this part in my life... EVER! But
I'm here, alive. I've grown so much; I can actually look at myself in the
mirror and see a beautiful black woman; one with dreams, goals and a crazy
drive to inspire others. If I could go back four years, I would
tell my 20 year old self that
everything is going to be okay and to wait on God’s timing. My young saved soul
had no clue what this walk would be about. I mean, 19 was the turning point but
20, 21 and 23 was the battle ground. I went to war with God, stopped going to
my church, cried my eyes out, beat myself up over my sins and lost friends. But
what did this all teach me? That you keep moving, you don't let the
setbacks limit your growth. So here are some things I've learned and I’m thankful
for:
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. | Psalms 34:1|
2. MY FAMILY: My life line. My parents have had my back in everything, especially
financially. From when I went away to school. I did not
spend a dime on rent. And when I came back home and explained all my plans (something
which was so hard for me to tell them), they loved me with open arms. Every birthday my mother prays with us. It's
like this tradition she has developed for me and my siblings. Her prayer for my
birthday honestly left me speechless. I know that her committing my life in God’s hands and asking him to do all the things she
desires for me will come to pass. My sister and my brother you guys are my
heart. I love my blood!!!
3. My boyfriend: I don't talk much about my relationship
on my blog. But man, ya’ll don't understand how good this man is. Seriously
heaven sent. I used to cry for boys to just look at me and love me. I used to be caught up in the messiest relationships. But
what I prayed for, God give me more than I expected in a man. I
don't doubt that Nate will ever stop his commitment to me because his love for
God shows me that I'm secure in his love.
4. MY FRIENDS: WHEN I SAY I HAVE AMAZING FRIENDS NO ONE
UNDERSTANDS!!! Man, God is so good. I have the most loyal friends a girl could
ask for. I don't question one bit their actions towards me. They have shown
unconditional love in every season that I've been through. Legit, from my booty
popping days at the club (Haha) to changing
over night and becoming a serious Christian. And
currently walking with me in my growth. They stuck around to wipe my tears,
laugh with me, and rock with me. My heart is overwhelmed with love
for every single one of you.
5. My Best friend MARILYNNNNN!!!!!!!: How can someone teach
you how to pray. Listen to me ball my eyes out and teach me to be a better
communicator??? How, tell me how, sway, tell me how ? THIS GIRL MAN I
love you.
6. MY BLOG: WOOOOT WOOOT TURN UP, This blog
has taught me so many things about myself. It has helped me become a
better writer. It has taught me to be patient, consistent and
focused. I remember just crying to God about why he wanted me start writing. I was mad and sad because the task at hand
seemed so much bigger than me. But I'm now seeing the fruit of obedience slowly
come into full effect. Thank you guys for the 10k plus views. I am honestly so,
so thankful.
Note To Self
Feb 23, 2016
"It's okay to admire other people's gifts and abilities. But don't forget to admire your own gifts and abilities. God has not forgotten about you. You also carry somethings special."
The Perfect Bedroom on a Budget
Feb 20, 2016
I recently uploaded a pic of my bedroom on Snapchat and on Facebook. I got so many questions on where I got some of the things in my room. So I’ve decided to write a blog post that goes into a little more detail about all the things I used to get the " Perfect Bedroom". Some of the things I bought with my own money and are pretty affordable and other things I received as gifts.
After moving back home from university, I wanted a place I could just have where I would be able to journal, pray and blog-- I wanted to feel comfortable. My parents had just moved into a new house so you -can imagine that my room was no way decked out. In fact, the only furniture I had was a really an old dresser and a chipped mirror my mother decided I should use as my vanity.
The process of getting my room to look the way it is has been a slow but rewarding one. Note that I didn't buy everything right away. I was inspired by a lot Pinterest posts and other Youtubers who had and did room/home tours. So, yea, I'm no interior designer lol. For anyone looking to renovate their room to fit their own comfort, rest assured that this is an easy task. Just don't stress yourself over it if you don't have all the things you want. Be patient and let your vision come together.
Anyways here are the pics below. I'll give you the link to where I bought everything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
