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Sep 23, 2016
I've been really frustrated lately, I'm trying to stay positive while I feel like my head is underwater. Oftentimes we tend to focus on our circumstances instead of the God who can change our circumstances. So if you feel like you're being choked by your worries and all the issues of life, remember that all your days were written even before you existed. Don't forget that the ONE who controls your life knows you✨👆🏾
"Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. | Psalms 139:16|".
N.
In All Things He Will Supply
Jul 31, 2016
I quickly scrambled to write her number down so I could return the call. A part of me was a bit anxious and worried, but deep inside I mentally played melodies in my head to calm my nerves just incase I was left disappointed. As I dialed the number I could hear my heart beating faster than usual. Trying to grasp my reality while steadily calming myself down, I thought to myself, " Nana don't you trust God enough? Why are you so worried?
The phone rang about 4 times and the voicemail picked up. A little disappointed, I brushed it off and put my professional voice on and eloquently confessed in confidence who I was and if she could please call me back. I waited the whole day; kept my phone by my side—even put it on the loudest volume just so I could hear it ring if was in a different room. I was losing my mind! Mumbling under my breath I rehearsed meaningless questions over and over again to myself." I mean she thought I was qualified for the job, no? Why didn't she returned my call ? All these questions kept running through my head. I waited and she didn't return my call, so I called again—and a couple of times throughout the week and still nothing. I waited the whole week in hopes that she'd call... and nothing. At this moment apart of me became a little discouraged. Although, I didn't utter it but I thought to myself God, why ? Why get my hopes just for it to lead to disappointment?
Thats the thing with many of us such as myself, we don't trust God to be our provider or even trust in his plans or promises for us. We want things done our way so when reality doesn't fall into place we question if God is even good like He says He is. I woke up this morning a little distressed, worried about all the things I haven't paid for. Knowing anxiously the end of the month was near. I paced back and forth in my kitchen thinking of all the things I could possible do to carry me over so these bill collectors wouldn't come knocking on my door. Then I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to go pray. As I started praying God reminded me of Philippines 4:11-13:
" I am not saying this because I am need , for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want."
Paul, seriously, you couldn't give me a break? I mean I think I'm content ? Or am I ? Yes, I've experienced all this Paul, as I reluctantly nodded, agreeing with him that I had experienced plenty and in retrospect been in need many times. Maybe not in dire need, like not having clean water to drink but lets just say the first world problem type of need. Anyways, Paul wrote this letter to the church while he was in prison thanking them for being at his aid in his sufferings. I don't know much people in prison who are this optimistic about their current state. I actually don't know anyone in prison but you get the point. Paul's attitude towards his current situation was summed up in verse 19, " And my God will supply all your needs to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus". He knew that despite the circumstance he was in—chained or free. God would meet all his needs and the needs of the church.
This scripture challenged me, because it puts things in perspective for me that God isn't some genie we can rub and all the riches from heaven will fall into our lap. But He is a God that promises that he will supply all our needs. I know often times I want the big shabang, the huge testimony, but could it be that I just need to be content regardless of my current situation? In essence, if we never get that job, the car, the career or house, can we trust God to supply all our needs and not wants? Now i'm not saying pack up your bags move to some cave or even stop applying for jobs. Thats some extreme faith lol--I'm not judging. However, in the midst of our anxious hearts God just wants us to trust that He will be there for us regardless. It's not something easy to grasp, especially when feelings are involved. But it's practical when we know God works night, day and even overtime. For indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber or sleep | Psalms 121:4|. Let that sink in...
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? |Matthew 6: 25-27|
Outfit Details
T-Shirt by hungryforhim.org
Insta: @hungryforhim
for the sake of love,
N.
Birthday Glory| 24 Years Deep!
Mar 10, 2016
As my birthday slowly approached my heart was filled with so
much excitement. I could not help but think that I've come such a long way. No one ever
knows where the journey of life will take them. We just hope that as we unravel
the layers of our life story that we are able to
understand the hidden mysteries along the way. Like everyone else I've had some bad
days, some happy days, some beautiful days and ugly days. I failed at more
things than I've been successful at and although there are times I feel like I
should be in my career by now,
I'm at peace with where God wants me to be. Jeeez I can't believe I typed that
out! I never even thought I would make it to this part in my life... EVER! But
I'm here, alive. I've grown so much; I can actually look at myself in the
mirror and see a beautiful black woman; one with dreams, goals and a crazy
drive to inspire others. If I could go back four years, I would
tell my 20 year old self that
everything is going to be okay and to wait on God’s timing. My young saved soul
had no clue what this walk would be about. I mean, 19 was the turning point but
20, 21 and 23 was the battle ground. I went to war with God, stopped going to
my church, cried my eyes out, beat myself up over my sins and lost friends. But
what did this all teach me? That you keep moving, you don't let the
setbacks limit your growth. So here are some things I've learned and I’m thankful
for:
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. | Psalms 34:1|
2. MY FAMILY: My life line. My parents have had my back in everything, especially
financially. From when I went away to school. I did not
spend a dime on rent. And when I came back home and explained all my plans (something
which was so hard for me to tell them), they loved me with open arms. Every birthday my mother prays with us. It's
like this tradition she has developed for me and my siblings. Her prayer for my
birthday honestly left me speechless. I know that her committing my life in God’s hands and asking him to do all the things she
desires for me will come to pass. My sister and my brother you guys are my
heart. I love my blood!!!
3. My boyfriend: I don't talk much about my relationship
on my blog. But man, ya’ll don't understand how good this man is. Seriously
heaven sent. I used to cry for boys to just look at me and love me. I used to be caught up in the messiest relationships. But
what I prayed for, God give me more than I expected in a man. I
don't doubt that Nate will ever stop his commitment to me because his love for
God shows me that I'm secure in his love.
4. MY FRIENDS: WHEN I SAY I HAVE AMAZING FRIENDS NO ONE
UNDERSTANDS!!! Man, God is so good. I have the most loyal friends a girl could
ask for. I don't question one bit their actions towards me. They have shown
unconditional love in every season that I've been through. Legit, from my booty
popping days at the club (Haha) to changing
over night and becoming a serious Christian. And
currently walking with me in my growth. They stuck around to wipe my tears,
laugh with me, and rock with me. My heart is overwhelmed with love
for every single one of you.
5. My Best friend MARILYNNNNN!!!!!!!: How can someone teach
you how to pray. Listen to me ball my eyes out and teach me to be a better
communicator??? How, tell me how, sway, tell me how ? THIS GIRL MAN I
love you.
6. MY BLOG: WOOOOT WOOOT TURN UP, This blog
has taught me so many things about myself. It has helped me become a
better writer. It has taught me to be patient, consistent and
focused. I remember just crying to God about why he wanted me start writing. I was mad and sad because the task at hand
seemed so much bigger than me. But I'm now seeing the fruit of obedience slowly
come into full effect. Thank you guys for the 10k plus views. I am honestly so,
so thankful.
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