Momentary
Oct 29, 2015
When I think about my present situation, I feel that the gift of grace and its power doesn't seem to quiet apply to my life. I'm trying to run ahead of myself and figure things out, but somehow i'm just coming up short and incomplete. The journey of my faith hasn't been the prettiest. The power that Christ has over my life has been almost nonexistent to me. I need the help to really see the hope that lies ahead of me. I need the truth to set me free from the bondage that is currently clinging to my life that I feel like I can't overcome.
I'm currently a mess..
A couple of days ago while I skimmed through the bible, I came across this verse, " For the son of Man came to seek and save the lost".| Luke 19:10|
In that brief moment as I pondered on the scripture I realized that although it has been 3 years since I got saved, I am still feeling lost. Now to be clear the lost feeling, which i'm talking about isn't the one you might be thinking of. This type of lost is a feeling of incompleteness that's overshadowing my soul.
At that moment it had become obvious to me: the high for me had died out, the christian music I had been listening to was becoming repetitive. To be frank I was getting bored. Every thing in my life seemed to be moving in an inconsistent cycle. Was Christ not enough ? The idea of Christ not being enough played in my head over and over again. I battled the doubt and his love and still I was finding myself unable to grasp the truth in that moment--even though I know the truth.
And to tell you the truth, this is the time where many people fall apart and then give up. They can't deal with the inconsistencies and the not knowing in their relationship with God. The flesh seems more desirable. The things of the world seem more fun--less boring. They are tired of waiting for God to make a move in their life.
In part that is sort of how I feel.
Of course I know the world views Jesus to be a fictional character; did the man really exist? Was he just a myth? I mean...What an unusual story that God would send his son who was actually God, to die for humanity for a sin that they committed in the first place.It seems too good to be true or just not even realistic some may say. It sounds more like a silly fictional story that could be made into a Disney movie.
Well..this story changed my life. As I pondered some more on the scripture I realized the power of the Gospel. God came to seek me and save me. He's real. I can personally say I have experienced him and although things aren't perfect in my life his presence is tattooed across my heart.
JESUS! will always be the answer
So I know...
Even though I feel like this, this is only momentary.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, |2 Corinthians 4:17|
I will overcome the bondage that has been currently placed in my life;the truth shall set me free. I know the hope that lies ahead of me will help me; that the power Christ has over my life is my reality. The journey of my faith hasn't been the prettiest but the filth in my heart will not be the death of me. Therefore, running ahead of myself will leave me incomplete if I don't rely on the power of grace.
Side note: I know there are many Christians as myself who are in this stage, where the fire that used to be in you is slowly dying out. Please don't give up, God is going to work it out. Just hold on. I'm praying for you!!
for the sake of his Love,
NanaOhh.
Is God a Rewarder of Good Deeds?
Oct 3, 2015
I read a post a while ago on Facebook, which completely turned me off. The person stated (and I'm paraphrasing, that "if you are expecting God to bring you a husband, and you don't know how to clean or cook yourself then you will be waiting a long time."
The post went into further detail of all the things that downgraded our favor with God which would could possibly hinder the "benefit" of finding a mate. Umm excuse me ? Say what? So being a well-groomed woman earns me points to scoring a "God-fearing man"?
In all honesty, I think that every woman, in order to become a wife needs to properly prepare herself to become the woman that she wants to be for her husband, the Proverbs 31, the woman of virtue that we are all striving to be. I think it's vitally essential as woman after God's heart to pursue after this type of woman.
I found the facebook post to be quite condescending: that the only way we could score a good, God-fearing man is if the God who sees everything we do in secret knows that i'm properly groomed or well taken care of, serving in the church and if everyone sees me as an effective leader. If that is not the case and I can't cook, or can't clean then I will no longer receive the husband i'm desiring for.
So lets be clear: your qualification for marriage is not measured through a point system by God. People who are courting/dating or even married did not "score" a man because they were properly groomed and presented as perfect before God. Everyone is a work in progress, and every Christian will never reach the maximum of perfection until Christ comes. At the same time, I have seen people who have been faithfully serving in church and are still single. Are their good deeds not being recognized by God? I mean, they read their bible everyday, are part of multiple ministries and highly recognized in the church. So why are they still single? They have it all together right? God has to have favor on them. Or are they just living a double life ?
We have to stop idolizing the idea of relationship/marriage.
It's actually annoying how we view marriage. As if it's the final destination to our Christian walk; that once we get to that season we will completely know that God's favor is in our lives. Yup, we finally scored big point with the BIG G.O.D. All the things I have been doing in the church have finally been noticed. This way of thinking is very destructive; it isn't fair to those people who are really struggling in certain areas of their lives and trying to get it right with Christ. What about the Saints who aren't in a church or actively serving ? Or my single ladies who strive to be better and to love Christ but are seriously not content in their season of singleness. Your good deeds, or acts do not determine your favour from/with God, and to think as such is to misunderstand who God is. There is so much more that I could address with this, but i'll just leave it here...
I hope you get the point i'm trying to make.
From my own personal experience and from my conversations with others, I realize that everyone's story is different! God shouldn't be boxed up to the idealistic way of how your spouse should come into your life just because sister Nancy waited and was content in her single season. Yup she did everything right in the book and now she is happily married and blessed. God doesn't bless others and discredit someone else because their deeds aren't righteous towards him. Let that sink in. We all have our struggle and the things that easily entangles us in our walk. But nothing we do can ever be something that brings us into the next hierarchical status, for it says "No one is righteous-- not even one (Romans 3:10)". So before we judge and forget our own skeletons in the closet let us humbly pray for each other.
* Now before some of y'all come for me this post isn't to throw shade or discredit anyone who promotes being single and content. I'm all for that because, I also experienced my single season before I got into my own personal relationship. I get it, but I also understand the struggle for those whose desires seem clouded in their walk and they bleed discontentment.*
for the sake of his love,
NanaOhh.
Some things don't need a title...
Sep 22, 2015
"Well, I don't laugh at your jokes and I don't think they're funny so maybe we aren't compatible -- are the words uttered from my lips to him. Once again I had said something that I truly didn't think about but acted on because I was all up in my feelings.
As I laid in bed yesterday night, I beat myself up over those words. Why ? Because these words hurt someone I truly care about. It was not intentional--But I admit that my extreme personality sometimes leads me to act foolish.
I never intended to get super personal on my blog about my relationships. I believe some things are not always for the public eye. However, since this is my personal blog, I needed a place to clear my thoughts, and I thought I would write something for those who I take advantage of and hurt with my words; I want to show my sincere regrets to the ones I love on how my actions sometimes don't back up words.
Babe,
You matter. Your feelings matter. I adore the man you are and how God brought you in my life to be the piece to the puzzle of my hectic, crazy life. I must admit i'm work, a lot of work, and it's not your job to fix me up, but I do believe as a friend it's your job to be with me and fight with me through the mess. Growing up I settled with things I wanted to do and the boys I wanted to be with and even with friends I chose. I didn't understand the value in my voice or the power of expressing myself--i bottled things up and held onto my pain and let it birth annoyance with the world-- I'm sure you can relate to that. Like anything that needs to grow, you must feed it, nurture it until it no longer depends on you.
If I could go back into the past I would erase the bitterness from my lips, listen slowly and have the patience to align the words of my lips with the rhythm of my heart. I know what my heart means; I know what it feels but sometimes the words of my mind speaks for me too quickly before I can catch myself. I can't tell you the exact formula of why that is, I guess that is something God himself has to step in and teach me. Apologies become diluted if they are used too often and artificially; what I mean is, if the person's actions constantly don't measure up with their words. Then anything the person has to say becomes ineffective. I hope that it never gets like that between us; that despite each others' flaws, our apologies will always be sincere. I know my words are not always loving, but I pray that you have patience and that you still make the effort to stay. I hope our love for each other reflects what Christ sees so that we don't dishonour each other, become self-seeking, be easily angered or keep records of our wrong.(1 Corinthians 13:5). May it be your everyday prayer that God works in my heart. May I be the very best for Him and the very best for myself to prepare me to be the wife that you are going to marry.
x.o
Afua;
Our hearts can lie in many places and we can shatter our peace if we let the noise get too close. I let the noise get close , I let the lies shape my love for you. I let my actions of being an overly protective sister shape me into being a mean one. I'm sorry. I really don't understand where the distance between us comes from and why we are not like "other sisters". It hurts that maybe i'll never have that with you, that you probably won't be the first one I run to when I have good news about the events in my life. That you won't be within reach when I'm in the most difficult seasons and I just need my sister. My sister, the one I love, laugh and talk to on the phone for hours about random stuff or even laugh at our parents because they can be straight up annoying. It hurts that maybe we will never have that. I'll admit that I have said some hurtful things in the spur of the moment. I know those words cut you deep and they remain in your thoughts. Who knew that you would grow up to be your own person? It was naive of me to think you would be young forever; to think that one day the power I have as the older sister who can boss you around would not lose its vigor. Shockingly, it happend, and my hand was losing the grip over your life as you started to develop hips and your beautiful chocolate melanin started to appease the boys. I hope one day you can forgive me. That we will not only be sisters by blood but sisters in action. I pray that you become the best version of yourself and that loving you to me will be loving you despite all the things we've been through.
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we out to lay down our lives for our brothers(1 John 3:16). That I may understand God's love for us through our relationship and actively lay my life down for you, in love, speech and in my actions. A friend once told me that when it comes to family you can't have pride. The certainty of those words put things into reality. I love you. I hope that your perspective continues to mature, and you never settle or give pieces of yourself to people who don't deserve it. I hope one day we can really move past the hurts and realize the value of each other while we sip some virgin piña coladas on a beach somewhere LOL. May your prayer be that my heart changes to understand all that you are and may Christ be the solid foundation in our relationship as we put the devil to shame.
I hope one day our love for each other draws no limits.
x.o.x
God has been using these relationships to expose the rawness of me: how I am when His light shines on my life. The things I seriously have to change and the issues of my heart that have been growing since I was a child. I'm in my most vulnerable state. I'm fragile. But it's okay; I don't have full ownership of my life, God does. My mistakes don't define who I am. I believe that there are some characteristics that God himself gave to me. Should I ever settle into another persons light, then i've lost myself in the process of growth. Remember that your mistakes don't shape who you are--realize them and work towards being better for yourself. Seriously, if you're reading this pray for me, that I will not lose myself in the progress of uncovering my mistakes.
A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. (Proverbs 18:7)
for the sake of his love,
NanaOhh.
REPOST: For my friend Nana by Avrielle B
Sep 17, 2015
The struggle has been so real this past month, and the doubt has been realer LOL. I honestly don't want to be that christian who complains about everything or just gives into her feelings every time something isn't going right. But, unfortunately sometimes it is easier to give up then wanting to try. We should never underestimate the power of God. He is so faithful, that even when you get discouraged in your faith he sometimes uses the people around us to make his presence known reassuring us that we are not forgotten. So I just wanted to share with you guys what my friend Avrielle wrote for me on her blog this week --to be honest it's one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me. I was so overwhelmed with emotions as I laid in bed and read the post. I had to put it on my blog as reminder of God's precious gift to me every time I get discouraged.
Avrielle( Avryelllle i'm actually saying it in the voice I always call you in LOL) if you are reading this, thank you for being my Johnathan in this season, you are friend who loves me unconditionally despite my flaws and mess. Honestly you make my heart smile and there isn't enough words to express my gratitude. Hahaha and lets be real this simply isn't the post for all that but I got you girl;)!
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Romans 11:26- And in this way all Israel will be saved. As it is written: 'The deliverer will come from Zion; he will turn godlessness away from Jacob.
(27) And this is my covenant with them when I take away their sins."
(28) And as far as the gospel is concerned, they are enemies for your sake; but as far as election is concerned, they are beloved on account of the fathers,
(29) For God's gifts and his call are irrevocable.
... the message bible interprets Romans 11 verse 29 as, "God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty- never canceled, never rescinded." (my favourite verse from this scripture)
Nana, we are very much the same when it comes to how overwhelmed we get when we can't seem to get something right or we allow ourselves to feel so condemned, but I came across this sermon today that really made me think of you. The sermon was taken from Romans 11 verses 26-29. It discussed how this whole christian walk is really more about God then it is about us. We as imperfect human beings will fall and will make mistakes. When God gave us the gift of salvation He knew every little mistake we would make and He was aware that it would take us a million tries before we got it right. Before the earth was formed God was thinking of you. He fashioned you to be a woman of intricate detail that maybe only He would ever understand. He knew what all of your weaknesses would be and all of your strengths when He decided to give you this amazing purpose. He knew how all of these specific things about you would play a role in who you are and how you interact with others.
I say all of this to bring it back to the reason for your being, God.
When He gave you this purpose He already knew that He would be the one who delivers you from all of your sins. Verse 26 states that the deliverer will turn godlessness away. This is his promise to you (verse 27). It isn't a matter of whether or not He will do it because we know that He will. This promise is more about God then it is about you. Even though you are fickle and your feelings may change, God never does. This is His promise. He will deliver you. The best part of this whole thing, which is the part you were most worried about is that His calling and His gifts that He gave to you will not be revoked. Regardless of who you are and how many times you may fall. God will not take away the purpose He has for your life. He called you so He will qualify you. So even when it seems to be the opposite you and I should know that God's gift's will never be canceled solely because of who He is.
I know you already know all of this, but after our conversation last night I know it can't hurt to be reminded. I love you prophetess gyal!
(27) And this is my covenant with them when I take away their sins."
(28) And as far as the gospel is concerned, they are enemies for your sake; but as far as election is concerned, they are beloved on account of the fathers,
(29) For God's gifts and his call are irrevocable.
... the message bible interprets Romans 11 verse 29 as, "God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty- never canceled, never rescinded." (my favourite verse from this scripture)
Nana, we are very much the same when it comes to how overwhelmed we get when we can't seem to get something right or we allow ourselves to feel so condemned, but I came across this sermon today that really made me think of you. The sermon was taken from Romans 11 verses 26-29. It discussed how this whole christian walk is really more about God then it is about us. We as imperfect human beings will fall and will make mistakes. When God gave us the gift of salvation He knew every little mistake we would make and He was aware that it would take us a million tries before we got it right. Before the earth was formed God was thinking of you. He fashioned you to be a woman of intricate detail that maybe only He would ever understand. He knew what all of your weaknesses would be and all of your strengths when He decided to give you this amazing purpose. He knew how all of these specific things about you would play a role in who you are and how you interact with others.
I say all of this to bring it back to the reason for your being, God.
When He gave you this purpose He already knew that He would be the one who delivers you from all of your sins. Verse 26 states that the deliverer will turn godlessness away. This is his promise to you (verse 27). It isn't a matter of whether or not He will do it because we know that He will. This promise is more about God then it is about you. Even though you are fickle and your feelings may change, God never does. This is His promise. He will deliver you. The best part of this whole thing, which is the part you were most worried about is that His calling and His gifts that He gave to you will not be revoked. Regardless of who you are and how many times you may fall. God will not take away the purpose He has for your life. He called you so He will qualify you. So even when it seems to be the opposite you and I should know that God's gift's will never be canceled solely because of who He is.
I know you already know all of this, but after our conversation last night I know it can't hurt to be reminded. I love you prophetess gyal!
for the sake of His Love
NanaOhh.
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