#Christian #God
He Asked Me To Marry Him, But...
May 18, 2017
To whom it may concern,
As a little girl I envisioned the day I would get married. I mapped out the experience down to the finest detail. The intense joy I would feel from saying yes to the dress and to the man of my dreams. Cheers of excitement, my mother fighting back her tears as she reached out to embrace me in the moment. My heart bursting with joy--unguarded and untamed, my palms sweating with all nervousness. Mumbling under my breath a song of gladness “ In his time he makes all things beautiful | Ecclesiastes 3:11. I was finally getting married to the man whom my soul loved. The day would be magical, decor to the finest detail, exceptional food, centrepieces overflowing with flowers, loads of entertainment you name it… your girl had it aligned to the ‘t’. I knew when it happened, I would do it once and only once. However, I never gave much thought to engagement period, although the thought crossed my mind. Nothing propelled me more than what I wanted to happen on my wedding day.
Yet,
The past few weeks of my life have been a nightmare. I got engaged on my twenty-fifth birthday and with exuding shouts of joy, I said YES ! Having all the most important people in my life was a glorious experience, a moment I can't even form into words. My body instantly went into shock. However weeks after the hype came the reality of two flawed hearts neck and neck at each other. Cultural customs, financial restraints, and my desires--incapable of distinguishing truth. The memoirs of my child-like self was struggling to see the lines of compromise. Every time I tried to walk towards the gap of reconciliation my heart became torn with the desires that I envisioned as a young girl.
The painstaking truth was It was becoming hard to distinguish; between what I wanted and what was actually important. Ultimately, I knew the answer was my marriage, however, my fantasies were unwinding and expressing something else. I had to unlearn and it was hard.
See our hearts are a reflection of our inner-self, thoughts, feelings and desires. However, there are dangers that can arise from the heart if it’s not taken care of. The concerning reality is that most of us are not actively working on our hearts. I was naive to think that when I got into this relationship I was a complete package.
I realized that when I became a Christian I needed to make a continuous choice and give up my old ways of thinking. I laid in bed for days battling the thought of letting some of these desires go. My mind racing I knew this was a life and death process. I knew I had to choose life and live in God’s fullness and die to what I was used to. I had to remind myself that although an idea of having a beautiful wedding was exciting, God’s intent for me was a lifelong commitment with my partner |Ephesians 5:31| which would ultimately reflect our relationship with Christ. I had to renew my heart and align it to truth. The unfathomable reality was God was bringing two sinful people together for his glory. This required both of us to see outside of ourselves and our desires. And although in this engagement season we haven’t perfectly shown the 1 Corinthians 13 type of love, I knew the challenges we were facing as a couple was God’s way of exposing the areas of our hearts that needed to be renewed.
The struggle is real I’m still learning. Ladies from me to you, don’t succumb to the hype of the seeds planted in infancy. To my singles who are waiting: enjoy the season you are in, focus on laying your heart in the potter's hands allowing him to shape you. Building character is hard, but it is necessary. It will expose the dark crevices of your soul and shape you to be the image of his son Jesus Christ. Remember our hearts are fragile and deceitful; if we don’t guard it can lead to our very own destruction.
Sincerely,
A flawed heart.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Jeremiah 17:9
for the sake of love,
But one thing is necessary
Apr 28, 2016
Oh Lord, Nana, really ? You're complaining about the construction workers too? They are just doing their job.In the midst of my prayers I was reminded about the story of Martha and Mary, so eager to make sure I got all I had to say out to the Lord I decided to quickly turn to the scripture before I ended off my prayer.
This is what Jesus said to Martha,
"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary". | Luke 10: 41-42|
That one thing that was necessary was Christ. It wasn't the things that troubled Martha or made her anxious.She was missing out on the very thing that was in her midst that could take all her troubles away and calm her anxious heart. I was so worried about all the things on my mind I missed out on the presence of God. My focus was just making sure that God got everything in my life in check instead of just sitting at his feet and embracing how good He is. In not doing so, I forgot to be thankful about all the things that he has already done in my life thus far.
How many of us are Martha's? I know I am, but I'm working on it. I know it can be tough when you've been asking for a job and you've been applying everywhere and no one is calling you back--it's easy to complain. Or when God has given you promises but the promise is no where in sight. Let this be a reminder that although our troubles can weigh heavily on us, we shouldn't forget to give God the praise for all He has done or who He is in our lives. It's okay to be anxious about the future but don't forget the one thing that is necessary-- JESUS!
for the sake of his love,
NanaOhh.
JUST BELIEVE: Part 1
Jan 29, 2016
I am trying to find my footing where believing in God’s promises is concerned. Nana shared a video with me of a man whom God showed his daughter when he was 15 years old. After getting married and trying to conceive (and failing) the couple began to wonder and question the promise God gave to them. Long story short, it turns out the daughter that God showed them was a daughter they adopted.
It was a beautiful story, it made me
tear up; it was admirable how they hung on to God’s promise even in the midst
of all that disappointment. After I watched the video, I thought to myself:
what a beautiful, but depressing story. God gave this guy a promise and the guy
and his wife interpreted the promise one way but God fulfilled it in a
different way. Dare I say, he fulfilled it in a way that was (in my opinion) a
bit unsatisfactory. God did fulfill his promise: that he’d have a daughter
named Chloe, with olive skin, but that daughter was not the fruit of his own
body. Does the child make it less theirs because it was through another woman?
Nope. Perhaps that is something to explore in a different post. But this story made me realize something. I
realize that sometimes God’s promises
are almost allegorical. They go beyond the obvious words that he gives you. In
the case of the video, this man was given a vision of his daughter, and the
name of the child; but it turns out this child was one they would adopt. Obviously
there is a tinge of disappointment there. I assume God didn’t tell him, “the
fruit of your womb will produce this beautiful child named Chloe.” The man and
his wife read INTO what God’s promise was, rather than reading out of it.
ONE
Jun 12, 2015
Chambers of the soul enclosed with kisses.
Distorted memories, blurred out visions.
Exhausted thoughts from the pain, if only I could run from it all into another dimension.
Free Rein!
Breathless, only to encounter the dangers of the past.
Desires to reconstruct, fears to adapt.
A lonely heart, time elapsed.
How can I really be me ? through blinded eyes that apprehend to see?
Truth is, the kisses have fed my soul and now have become one with the ONE in control.
For the sake of his Love,
NanaOhh.
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