In All Things He Will Supply

The call made me more anxious than ever. Hearing her voice sent a rush down my spine which made me exuberant about what she could possibly say. I thought to myself; this is it. God had finally answered my prayers. I am going to get a job. After weeping and crying at the feet of God, watching my bills pile up and steadily seeing my account slowing progress into negatives I knew this had to be the "blessing" that I've been hearing was on my way.
I quickly scrambled to write her number down so I could return the call. A part of me was a bit anxious and worried, but deep inside I mentally played melodies in my head to calm my nerves just incase I was left disappointed. As I dialed the number I could hear my heart beating faster than usual. Trying to grasp my reality while steadily calming myself down, I thought to myself, " Nana don't you trust God enough? Why are you so worried?

The phone rang about 4 times and the voicemail picked up. A little disappointed, I brushed it off and put my professional voice on and eloquently confessed in confidence who I was and if she could please call me back. I waited the whole day; kept my phone by my side—even put it on the loudest volume just so I could hear it ring if was in a different room. I was losing my mind! Mumbling under my breath I rehearsed meaningless questions over and over again to myself." I mean she thought I was qualified for the job, no? Why didn't she returned my call ? All these questions kept running through my head. I waited and she didn't return my call, so I called again—and a couple of times throughout the week and still nothing. I waited the whole week in hopes that she'd call... and nothing. At this moment apart of me became a little discouraged. Although, I didn't utter it but I thought to myself God, why ? Why get my hopes just for it to lead to disappointment?

Thats the thing with many of us such as myself, we don't trust God to be our provider or even trust in his plans or promises for us. We want things done our way so when reality doesn't fall into place we question if God is even good like He says He is. I woke up this morning a little distressed, worried about all the things I haven't paid for. Knowing anxiously the end of the month was near. I paced back and forth in my kitchen thinking of all the things I could possible do to carry me over so these bill collectors wouldn't come knocking on my door. Then I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to go pray. As I started praying God reminded me of Philippines 4:11-13:

" I am not saying this because I am need , for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. I know what it is to be in need,  and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of  being content in any and every situation whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want."

Paul, seriously, you couldn't give me a break? I mean I think I'm content ? Or am I ? Yes, I've experienced all this Paul, as I reluctantly nodded, agreeing with him that I had experienced plenty and in retrospect been in need many times. Maybe not in dire need, like not having clean water to drink but lets just say the first world problem type of need. Anyways, Paul wrote this letter to the church while he was in prison thanking them for being at his aid in his sufferings. I don't know much people in prison who are this optimistic about their current state. I actually don't know anyone in prison but you get the point.  Paul's attitude towards his current situation was summed up in verse 19, " And my God will supply all your needs to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus". He knew that despite the circumstance he was in—chained or free. God would meet all his needs and the needs of the church.

This scripture challenged me, because it puts things in perspective for me that God isn't some genie we can rub and all the riches from heaven will fall into our lap. But He is a God that promises that he will supply all our needs. I know often times I want the big shabang, the huge testimony, but could it be that I just need to be content regardless of my current situation? In essence, if we never get that job, the car, the career or house, can we trust God to supply all our needs and not wants? Now i'm not saying pack up your bags move to some cave or even stop applying for jobs. Thats some extreme faith lol--I'm not judging. However, in the midst of our anxious hearts God just wants us to trust that He will be there for us regardless. It's not something easy to grasp, especially when feelings are involved. But it's practical when we know God works night, day and even overtime. For indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber or sleep | Psalms 121:4|. Let that sink in...


Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? |Matthew 6: 25-27|

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for the sake of love,
N.